Day 9 of 31

Well, it may take me forever at this rate; life keeps kicking my butt and getting in the way of my plans. I won’t go into all the wonderful delightful details because it has me fuming at the moment, but I just wonder, when you have done all you can, to be the best possible parent you can. When you know in your heart you were there for your children at least 99% of the time. Nobody is perfect so I won’t profess to be. But my point is, when you feel confident that you did all you could as a parent and your children still grow up to act indifferent towards you or treat you worse than your abusive ex. And their parenting leaves much to be desired making, you want to kick them in the butt so hard they lose sight of themselves for a few minutes and see the real importance is the child or children for whom they are responsible.

OK off my bandwagon. Today is Easter, I thank God for his son Jesus Christ who died on the cross for my sins and I thank God even more that he was risen again on the third day and is now sitting on the right hand of the father waiting for me to come home. Jesus provided the sacrifice for me so that I could be with him in Heaven. Wow, not that is a story, the cross built a bridge.

This week, I went with my grandson and husband to a big amusement park here in NC called Carowinds. I rode a few rides but with my fibro, it hurt my body really bad. I was glad my husband pushed my wheelchair so I didn’t have to walk, but I still feel like a mac truck ran over me days later. My grandson had a good time; I only wish I could have taken them all. I am just not physically able to handle much of the chasing young ones around a crowded park. Mason is old enough to know he has to stay with us. Hopefully the kids will bring the grandbabies and go with us sometime, but I just need to limit the amount of time I stay even if it means I go somewhere else and come back and pick them up if I have to. Like, get a massage?

Today we plan and Easter egg hunt for the children and cooking out hotdogs on the grill. This is already in danger of becoming a non-event due to a certain someone whom I am positive spends most of her waking hours concocting ways to come between my son and his son, with every possible trick and move. All well planned to look like it is all someone else’s fault, not hers, in my son’s eyes.

I truly worry because I know growing up and even not so long ago, had I listened to my parents, I could have saved myself so much grief and pain, but I always knew it all, nobody could tell me anything. Now I see my kids making mistakes and I want to save them from the mistakes so badly but I remind myself, no matter what I say, they are adults, they will do what they want to no matter what and they will have to find out for themselves.

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