Our God is SovereignAUGUST 15, 2016 / THEFAITHFULLWIFESome people know, but not everyone, that over a 2 year period of time before we found out about Bobby’s cancer we had 5 miscarriages. The last two were due just 2 months before his diagnosis and just 2 months after. At the time of these losses my heart was shattered. Makayla had wanted a baby brother or sister so badly, so having to tell her that her baby brother or sister was in heaven was heart breaking. (She only knew about one of the pregnancies because we had finally made it to the “safe zone”) What we did not know is that Bobby would soon be diagnosed with Colon Cancer, but God knew. He knew that I could not handle a new born baby, the postpartum depression, and a new cancer diagnosis while still caring for Makayla. He knows my limits far greater than I do! I am not saying that I do not still wish we had been able to have a sibling for Makayla, but I am saying that God knows the future. He knows what we can handle. He is a sovereign God. He loves us, and He only wants what is best for us.It is hard to believe that Bobby has been gone to his heavenly home for 2 weeks now. I miss him so much, we all do. I would not bring him back to this world though. He was in so much pain, and there is so much turmoil here. He is in a place where fear, pain, cancer, violence, and sadness do not exist. It makes heaven that much sweeter when we will be reunited again some day. I wish we had more time to be together, but I don’t think it matters how long we had it would never have been enough. I am grateful that we will have eternity together in heaven. He is the love of my life. He gave me a beautiful little girl who he will continue to exist through. She is so much like him. She is strong, funny, loving, and caring. Through her he will continue to be with us. He loved her so much. She was his world. I will make sure to keep his memory alive for her also.I am so grateful that when we received his diagnosis 18 months ago that we decided that we were not going to let cancer win. We decided right then we were going to make as many wonderful memories as possible. We didn’t know what the future held, but we knew that at least we would have amazing memories and experiences. We made memories as a family that we will never forget. We spent time with those we loved, and we just had a genuinely good time. Through Bobby’s cancer journey I learned how to live, how to cherish the little things, how to make every moment count, and to not take anything for granted. These are lessons I hope everyone can learn through our story: To always trust in God, and to live each day to it’s fullest.
Source: Our God is Sovereign